Being Non-Judgmental

One day during my internship about 7 years ago, I was observing my supervisor in one group therapy session. The topic of that session was learning how to be nonjudgmental. Being non-judgmental is one of the tenets of mindfulness and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). To be nonjudgmental one must avoid judging something as neither bad nor good, see that things are what they are, and focus on the facts.

Being nonjudgmental can run very counter to our nature and our culture. You don’t have to look far to find people casting judgment. Judgments can often come with negative assumptions about situations and people that aren’t true and can create even more negative thoughts or feelings creating a snowball effect. While it may not be practical to abstain from judgment at all times, when it comes to situations that cause intense emotional distress, try using the following steps from DBT to practice a nonjudgmental stance and note how it impacts your thoughts or emotions:

Observe: Pay attention to your 5 senses. Are you getting any information from your eyes, ears, nose, skin, and tongue? If so, what is it? Stay present in the moment while trying not to push anything away or cling to anything. Silently observe what’s happening around you and allow thoughts and sensations to roll in and out of your body and awareness. Pay close attention to what is happening within you and outside of you.

Describe: Describing is very important when you’re working to accept the world and situations as they are. “Label a thought as just a thought, a feeling as just a feeling, an action as just an action.” (Linehan, 53). Only describe information that comes through your 5 senses.

Participate: The final step is to be fully engaged in the task that you are doing while tolerating and accepting the different thoughts and emotions that you are experiencing without judgment.